what is the thing that makes someone trust one another ?
is it the sentences that they say
is it the eye contact that they have given u which gave u assurance.
or is it the promises that was given to you long ago.

how do u trust what your heart say? without letting the emotion to control u.
sometimes, there are things which u really wanna believe in,
but in the end u really, u are in for a cheat.

there are ppl who can sit in front of u and look into your eyes with sincerity even though that one person is telling a lie.
how can u judge.

im a person who open up my hearts to all my friend.
meaning even if i just know someone new, i would go all out for the friends,
but ended realising that the person whom i gave up everything to help is just lying.

can someone guide me how to spot on and trust ppl with your own heart??

Miss Joker vanish again8:41 AM

simply love this new song from my idol

Miss Joker vanish again7:37 AM

hm.. have been home these days, quite weird and amazing right, its like weekend and im at home..
firstly ever since im single i felt like im becoming like this, zai nu..
funny thing is of course there are ppl asking me out but just feel like staying at home.
probably home is the best place to heal all wounds or rather run away from problems and sorrows.

starting to think a lot when one is at home.
wondering what is the real meaning of friends? or rather do i have close friends around me left ?
actually things and ppl around us is always changing and evolving.
i remembered when i just join this company, i have a group of close friend, whom i call them god sister, they are always there for me or rather they teng me a lot.
everything we do, we do it together, just like that girls in sec school.
dont know what happen or rather what thing i did wrong, things have changed.

more ppl joined our group and slowly i was being cast out. secrets and whispering is what i see everytime when i go for lunch with them.
my dad always tell me that whenever u make friends, just be true to each other and ppl will be true and sincere toward u.
but i find its not..

i dont like to be outcast or feel ignored. not that im a spoiled brat. but the feeling is not that good. imagine when the whole group is sitting in the same table.
and when the 2 new member of the group ask them to move to another table. they moved leaving me alone on the table. how would u feel? though they told me they dont mean it, its like the other 2 party call them over
but come to think of it. if u treat me as a friend too. shouldnt one stay behind in my table instead of all moved over?


im an easy going girl, sometimes i know i am wrong and i would asked. remember last time in sec sch, when i did something wrong, i asked and i try to changed? but now when i ask them they say there is NOTHING wrong but they gave me this cold treatment.
i felt like i dont deserve this.

think will be going for HK trip in mid dec :)
whereby both body and soul get some rest:) might be better that way.
now stayong at home makes me see things more openly and feel things more rightly.
thanks for some nice friend who are there :) really need u all here.
regardless its a sms/ msn msg/ tag on the blog,
it certainly means a lot

Miss Joker vanish again3:26 AM

went to zoo on sunday:)
felt real happy:) cause was quite a relax trip with someone who makes me feel really sincere. :)
reach zoo around 2 plus, then brought the tickets for tram ride
was drizzling when we started to walk the zoo but heng ah it stops.
get to see the animal show and feeding session.

then went to watch the movie poka king :) quite nice and funny.
have not feel like that for a long time before.
its like just pure going out and sight-seeing :)
oh ya got a whole bag of biscuits. told my guy friend that i always feel hungry during work. then he brought a lot of biscuits for me.
the best thing is he actually re-pack all the biscuits into his house container and pass it to me.

felt the sincerity from him :) glad i have such a nice friend

Miss Joker vanish again4:22 AM

met someone sweet ;) one of my guy friend.
will update more in next entry :)

Miss Joker vanish again6:32 AM

on 17/10/2009
supposedly was having a half day at work.
but was scolded heavily twice by my big boss.

then went to attend a wedding dinner at jurong east at night.
but something happen..
luckily, the guy got caught by the police, i hope he get what he is deserved in order to be fair to me.
hope he spend the deevapali behind bars.

Miss Joker vanish again9:49 AM

sometimes life is weird and complicated.
when things are there, none of notice or rather no one see the good part of it.
some ppl only realise the good part of another person only when he/she has lost it.
well that is life.
i think i belong to that category.

these few days, i was wondering and asking myself. why did'nt i cherish it when i have a chance. but then again, i knew that i was the one who let this chance slip by. and i was the one who make up the choice.
so no matter how much i would like to turn back the time and get back everything, it is not possible to do so.

the only one thing i can do is to face it. and im trying hard to do it.
well at lease i know that we are still close friend :)
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i finally make up the decision to break up with my bf..
there was once when i was having gathering with my poly friends.
i thought of my bf cause we have once ate dinner at the same place together.
i wanted to call him and kind of tell him, i thought of him.
but when he ask me where i am and i tell him i was with my poly friends.
he doesnt believe it,he kept saying that i was dating with another guy.

was thinking if we were to patch up again. the same problem will still exist.
i dont want to give him hope and make he fall again.
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went for ah huay wedding yesterday :)
was happy for her , wondering when will it be mine ? :)

Miss Joker vanish again10:41 PM